Музей камня в г. Иваново

[Elentirmo]

Благодарствуем! Уже хорошо.

[golodny]

Ещё плохо.

По-моему, от кальки “school-museum” стоит отказаться. Написать, что Lithos-CLIO — это educational center under museum. (Или, наоборот, музей при школе?) Объяснить название. Для CLIO, например, так:
CLIO is the abbreviation for Russian “Клуб любителей истории отечества” (КЛИО) which means the Club for enthusiasts of Russian history and reminds Clio, the Muse of history. It was founded in the USSR in 1986.

По-маленькому.

Для единообразной подачи материала замени "год - graduated" на "In год he или she (с учётом пола) graduated".

Например:
"1985 - graduated" — "In 1985 he graduated";
"2002 - graduated" — "In 2002 she graduated".

Подлежащее нужно везде вставить в предложения, и время глагола использовать единообразно (past indefinite, а не present perfect).
"Has been rewarded" — "He was rewarded";
"From 2015 works in our museum." — "From 2015 she works in our museum.";
"In 1986 has organized" — "In 1986 he organized".

Кроме того (если предположить, что у тебя уже всё хорошо ), единообразие нужно в варианте английского (у тебя флаг Великобритании, а в написании слов идёт смешение британского с американским).

Вместо “Almoust all our school-leavers enter a higher school.” (Почтuи все, кто бросает у нас учиться или кого выгоняет наша школа, поступают в высшие учебные заведения) — “Almost all our graduates enter a higher school.”

“The pupils' age – the 6-11 classes.” — “This program is intended for children from 12 to 17 years of age.” [как вариант]

“variant - up to 7 years” — “as a variant up to 7 years”

“open to the publics” — “open to the public”

“The program of Y. Demina The Young Historians (Our Motherland)” — “The Young Historian and Naturalist program of Yulia Demina (Ivanovo regional and natural history)” [если менять порядок слов, то для всех авторов]

“Exhibition Good Old New Year” — “Good Old New Year exhibition”

“The exhibition Good Old New Year is open” — “The Good Old New Year exhibition is open”

“The area of our interests at that time: history, archaeology, regional studies, toponymy etc.” — “At that time the field of our interests included archaeology, history, regional studies, toponymy, etc.” [по смыслу лучше без etc. — and toponymy].

[golodny]

“the school-museum Lithos-CLIO” — это неправильный порядок бессмысленных слов;
правильный порядок бессмысленных слов: “the Lithos-CLIO school-museum”.

“The short history of the school-museum” — “A short history of the school-museum”

“Tel. (4932)37-82-63 - leaders, (4932)37-20-44 - reception desk.” — “Tel. (4932)37-82-63 Management, (4932)37-20-44 Reception”

“Mob.: 8-920-348-47-27 - A. Lapykin, 8-920-367-54-03 - S. Belyakov.” — “Mob.: 8-920-348-47-27 Andrey Lapykin, 8-920-367-54-03 Sergey Belyakov”

“In the past we had 14 creative associations, including programs of A. Strachov The Young Tourism Instructors, of V. Cheboksarov The Basis of the Slavic Mythology and Ethnography, of I. Filatova Museology and the Regional Studies.” —
“In the past we had 14 creative associations, including those with the following progams: Young Instructors of Tourism by A. Strakhov, The Basics of the Slavic Mythology and Ethnography by V. Cheboksarov, Museology and Regional Studies by I. Filatova.”
Вместо инициалов напиши имена.

Сообщение от Elentirmo

Сайт музея камня очень востребован учащейся молодежью. Мы тут решили открыть англоязычную версию главной страницы.

Какая связь между этими двумя предложениями? Или ты рассчитываешь на великобританскую молодёжь?

Красный — цвет запрета. Писать красным приглашение непсихологично.



Тогда уж лучше используй в заголовке цвет какашки, как сделали эстеты в Лондоне :

[Elentirmo]

Большое спасибо! Приятно иметь дело со знатоком. Все замечания учтем.

[golodny]

Ещё 10 тысяч вёдер...

“A short history of the school-museum” — “A short history of our school-museum”

“school-museum is the educational structural element of Children's Creative Learning Center № 4 that is the part of” —
“school-museum is an educational structural element of Children's Creative Learning Center № 4. The latter is a part of”

“School-museum means” — “Under Иschool-museum’ we mean”

“We have three birthdays:” — “Lithos-CLIO had three dates of its creation.”

“1986 - the year of the creation of the homeland history lovers club CLIO. CLIO is the abbreviation for Russian "Клуб любителей истории отечества" (КЛИО) which means the Club for enthusiasts of Russian history and reminds Clio, the muse of history.” —
“In 1986 CLIO was founded as a club. Its name is the abbreviation for Russian ИКлуб любителей истории отечества’ (КЛИО) which means [the Club for enthusiasts of Russian history или твой вариант the homeland history lovers club, но не оба варианта сразу, как ты сделал] and reminds Clio, the Muse of history. “

“1990 - on the basis of the CLIO club was organized the Lithos-CLIO school-museum.” —
“In 1990 the Lithos-CLIO school-museum was organized on the basis of CLIO.”

“was expending” — “was extended to”

“The conception of the Lithos-CLIO school-museum on the city auction of pedagogical ideas 1991 has taken the second place. In 1992 the regional college of Education administration has given to our museum the status of experimental platform and the building 500 sq. m.” —
“Being a runner-up in competition of pedagogical concepts, in 1992 the Lithos-CLIO school-museum received an old building from the Ivanovo Regional Ministry of Education. Also we obtained a special experimental status and a small funding to implement our ideas.”
[Тут я понял, что ничего не понял: здание получили в 1992, а переехали в него в 2010? А где тогда выставлялись 18 лет после того как открылись? Или это два разных здания? Изложи хотя бы по-русски внятно. ]

“From this year our museum of stone is open to the public.” — “Our Museum of Stone was open to the public in 1992.”

“Now we have in our expositions and funds about thirty thousand exhibits. This arises from 28 field seasons (more than 80 geological and paleontological expeditions from Lake Baikal and Mongolia to the North Timan and the Khibiny Mountains).” —
“At present the Museum counts over 30,000 exhibits, which resulted from more than 80 geological and paleontological expeditions within 29 (пересчитай) field seasons allover Russia.”

[golodny]

[Natalia Krisanova]
“the department of social pedagogic and psychology.” —
“the Department of Social Pedagogy and Psychology.”

“From 2015 she works in our museum. A leader of department (assistant director in training and education). Interests: psychology, pedagogy, mind games.” —
“From 2015 she works as our Museum’s Deputy Director in education and upbringing. She has an interest in psychology, pedagogy, and intellectual games.”

[Sergey Belyakov]
“the department of industrial ecology” — “the Department of Industrial Ecology”

“The administrator of school-museum site. A member of the Russian geographic society, of the Ivanovo local history society. Interests and hobbies: astronomy, history, chronology, paleontology, mythology, regional studies, mineralogy, megalithics, Tolkien scholarship, minerals collection.” —
“Also he administrates the Museum’s Internet site. He is a member of the Russian Geographical Society and a member of the Ivanovo Local History Society. His interests and hobbies comprise astronomy, chronology, history, mineralogy, mythology, paleontology, regional studies, as well as mineral collecting, the study of megaliths, and the study of Tolkien’s oeuvres.”

[golodny]

"Our school-museum has a historical and culturological trend of stone study, and there are no geological, mineralogical and even geographic departments at the numerous universities of our town; there for we consider the historical and chemical-biological departments at Ivanovo State University, the Ivanovo State Polytechnic University, the Ivanovo State University of Chemical and Technology, the design and cultural service department of Textile Institute of Polytechnic University, the Ivanovo Painting College our profile departments and universities."
Такое длинное предложение нечитабельно, даже если грамматически верно. А у тебя это предложение ещё и неверно. Разбей его на несколько.

Иваново это city, а не town.

“school leavers” — “graduates” [глянь поиском, ещё три вхождения осталось]

“На базе школы-музея традиционно проходят ежегодные циклы интеллектуальных игр...” нельзя так переводить “On the school-museum base are going traditional yearly cycles of mind games...”
Порядок слов в английском — подлежащее, сказуемое... Поэтому ты в своём русском предложении сперва слова переставь местами, а потом уже давай машине переводить. И опять предложение излишне длинное.